I’ve fallen into a rift, where the internet does not exist. (*also known as Podunk, BFE, Hickville, Middle-Nowhere, etc., etc.) In fact, this communication is being sent while clinging to the edge of the floor (the rift opened under me). See how devoted I am? Though I am told the rift isn’t permanent, I do expect to be absent for the next several days. Have fun without me.